I Just Mated- A pokemon parody of I Just Had Sex by The Lonely Island
by Joltthejolteon
Summary: Its a parody of a song featuring a certain Jolteon, Umbreon and Flareon...


Eclipse, in Author Mode: So, you read my stories finally?

Eclipse's Friend: Yeah, but I was thinking… Eclipse, Jolt and Flame all have girlfriends, right?

Author Eclipse: Well, Sky and Flame's relationship is a bit iffy, but for now, I guess so, yeah.

Eclipse's Friend: Remember that song _I Just Had Sex_, by _The Lonely Island_?

Author Eclipse: … I see where you're going with this…

(Note: This is a parody of The Lonely Island's _I Just Had Sex_, and I own no rights to the song. Enjoy my terrible edits)

*A screen flops down, reading: _I Just Mated_, by _Jolt, Eclipse and Flame_*

And a one, a two, a one two three four!

*Music starts playing, as the camera zooms out to reveal Jolt, Flame and Eclipse standing on the top of a skyscraper, the city around them engulfed in flames and Pokémon moves*

Eclipse: You know sometimes…

Flame: Ooooh…

Eclipse: Something fucked up happens in these stories…

Jolt: Flaaaaaeeme…

Eclipse: And if you don't skip ahead of those chapters…

Flame: Joooooooollllllt…

Eclipse: Then you'd understand why…

Jolt & Flame: Eeeeeclipse, yeah…

Eclipse: We just wanna scream!

Jolt: I just mated, yeah, and it felt so cool!

Flame: (Felt, so cool…)

*Camera zooms out to Jolt and Flame spinning around on their backs in the snow*

Jolt: One of my females made me put my penis inside of her!

Flame: (Yeah…)

*Back to all three on the skyscraper, Eclipse humping the air*

Jolt: I just had seeeeeex! And I'll probably go back!

Flame: (Ohh…)

Jolt: To her room again so many times again, that I'll lose track!

*Camera zooms out to Flame in a den, morning light filtering through the window, holding a Stritus berry*

Flame: Have you ever mated? I have, it felt like shi-

*Gets glared at by Sky*

Flame: New! It totally didn't suck, when I did it on her bewbs!

*Zooms out to show an embarrassed Sky, on their bedding surrounded by leaves*

Flame: Cuz Sky let me do this! I mean it literally just happened (a while ago)! And I learned that mating that hard can turn a nice male into the meanest!

*Switches to Jolt, walking out of a cave*

Jolt: I bet you guys could easily guess where I just was, I got fucked!

*Switches to a shot of Jolt laying by a female Jolteon out in the snow, under the cover of night, then back to him walking*

Jolt: And if you asked what it felt like, I'd say, it really sucked!

*Shows the Jolteon giving a thumbs up while Jolt gives a thumbs down*

Jolt: When I had the sex, man my cock really hurt! Cuz I was getting raped, which was really dumb!

*Switches to Eclipse, just making his way out of a den*

Eclipse: Oh hey, I was lookin for ya, guess what I just did! Mate-ed, on my back, got boobies, ribbons and the rest!

Flame: It was sure nice of her to let you have your way!

Eclipse: Nice of her? Man, back there, it was borderline rape!

*Switches back to the skyscraper*

Jolt: I just maaated, yeah, can it felt so cool! One of my females made me put my penis inside of her!

*Switches to Flame and Eclipse writing "Comgrates on teh secks!" in the snow, then back*

Flame: (Yeah…)

Jolt: I wanna tell pack (she fucking raped me)!

*Switches to Flame and Jolt sitting side by side on a cliff*

Flame: To be honest I'm surprised I kinda wanted her to do it!

Jolt: That makes about zero sense!

Flame: But dude, screw it, I guess I really shouldn't try to argue with a good thing, I mean she might just be my wife!

Jot: Was it really good?

Flame: Probably the most awkward half hour of my life!

Eclipse: (Of his life!)

Flame: I mean I really don't have anything against her, but to be honest I would really rather mate with some manure!

Jolt: Yeah, and with that in mind I guess a spikey good-smelling thing was better,

Flame: But I got her cum on my mane, and cleaning that took forever!

*Back to the building*

Eclipse: So this song is dedicated to our girls, who seem to like to make us squirm around underneath them! Whether you're weak or strong, or short or tall, we really wanna know how you keep makin us fuck you!

Jolt: She kept moaning loudly in my ears!

Eclipse: Well at least you had sex!

Flame: But she squeezed me so hard I almost cried!

Eclipse: I said at least you had sex!

Jolt: I think I may have gotten her pregnant…

Eclipse: That's what happens when you have sex!

*Thinks for a moment*

Eclipse: Although her ribbons DID leave marks…

Jolt & Flame: Hey, it counts!

All Three: I just mated! Yeah! And my dreeeams died!

Jolt: (fatherhood responsibilities…)

All Three: So if you've fucked, gotten raped or something worse, then you're eligible to sing with us!

*Zooms out, showing them singing in front of a large crowd of other Pokémon, who sing along*

Everyone: I just mated! And it felt so cool!

*Shows miscellaneous shots of everyone*

Everyone: My female made me stick my penis inside of her!

Jolt: (I'm scared to tell the pack!)

Everyone: I just mated! And now I'll never go back!

Jolt, Eclipse and Flame: I'm gonna get the hell outta here, as fast as I can, or else she might just find me and rape me again!

Flame: (I lied when I told her, it was greeeeaaaaat!)

*Returns to the skyscraper as a bunch of ranged Pokémon shots whiz around them*

Eclipse: Well, that was shit.

Flame: Agreed.

Jolt: I had a pretty good time with her to be honest…

Eclipse: Let's never do that again.

All Three: *Nod*


End file.
